Thursday, 19 February 2015

Excuses of a homeworker (and what they really mean)

Having freelanced for around a decade now, I've shared a lot of stories with others whose roles also involve an element of homeworking.  

There's a unique quality that you need to become a successful homeworker. No-one really warns you about it though. It's nothing to do with organisational skills or self-discipline, however handy these may be.

It's the art of ad-libbing, thinking on your feet and trotting out smooth explanations without a trace of hesitation. Ones that make it sound as though you're operating from a purpose-built glass-walled office when the reality of your working environment is something entirely different...

Here are just a few examples. (They're not all mine. Promise.)



Sorry I missed your call. I had to step away from my desk for a minute.

Translation: I nipped downstairs to shove the third load of washing into the machine.

I'm away from my desk today with limited access to email.

Translation: I rashly volunteered to help out in my child's class today.  I will be furtively checking emails during break time.

I have someone with me right now. Can I call you back?

Translation: My bewildered-looking partner has just entered the room clutching a shopping list and in desperate need of further instruction.

Please excuse me. I'm just about to pop out to a meeting.

Translation: The meeting is with my own offspring who are about to exit the school in three minutes. 

I am on annual leave this week.

Translation: I have decided to swap the stress of dealing with you for the stress of dealing with my children full-time for the next seven days.

********

Once you've got this little lot down pat, you really can't go wrong. After all, the ability to think on one's feet is surely attractive to potential clients?

Addendum: If any of the fabulous people I work for ever actually read this, please know that I love doing what I do for you.  Despite the lack of glass-walled office.

Enjoyed this article? Why not like Average and Proud on facebook or follow me on Twitter?

17 comments:

  1. Heehee. All good excuses.xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I can get a freelance job! Its my dream!

    This is such a fun read! #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks pixiedusk! You need to make your freelance dream happen - then we can exchange excuses ;-)

      Delete
  3. Oh my goodness! YES to all of these! So true. Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad others can empathise Victoria! Thanks, as ever, for hosting :-) x

      Delete
  4. Ha ha this made me giggle. So true. #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great that we can have a collective laugh about these things :-) Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  5. Very good - I really like this post Mrs Average :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by and commenting Kim. Glad you enjoyed :-)

      Delete
  7. I would absolutely love to be a home worker. If I ever become one I will keep these excuses in my head to be used haha x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Homeworking rocks (once you get the hang of thinking on your feet that is!). Thanks for stopping by and commenting :-)

      Delete
  8. LOL ... the annual leave one is my favourite. :-)

    Thanks for dropping by my blog from #PocoLo yesterday :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you liked it. #PoCoLo is a great link up, isn't it?

      Delete
  9. Lucas says - Ooohh naughty! But I do like the idea of making excuses. I wonder what mine could be for not doing all my Maths at school........... #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm ashamed to admit that there are plenty of things I don't have excuses for either ;-) Thanks very much for taking the time to visit and comment.

      Delete