But I decided that wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't make for particularly balanced reading either.
The dust has now settled and our differences are patched up, Yet I still find myself reflecting on what was possibly the first of many similar scenarios to follow over the adolescent years ahead.
So, while they remain imprinted in my mind, here are the things I wanted to say to my ten-year-old after our argument but didn't:
1. Even though others had warned me this stage was coming, I naively thought that it wouldn't happen to us. And I'm not handling it as well as I'd like to.
2. I was mad at the world at your age too - possibly even more so. Despite this, I was terrified at the level of anger pouring out of you, directed at me.
3. That thing we were arguing over? It'll mean nothing in five years' time. Chances are neither of us will even remember it.
4. You might be the one sobbing. But I'm howling on the inside too.
5. We'll get past this argument. And many, many more. And I'll always love you.
Come to think of it, perhaps I should go ahead and say that last one?
One of my own favourite bloggers, Kristen Welch of We are THAT Family, describes parenting teenagers as a hard kind of beautiful. Some days are more hard than beautiful. But we get through the hard ones, in the hope that beautiful ones will follow. The key word here is 'hope'.
How do you cope with the challenges of parenting a tween? Leave a comment and let me know.
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Well as you know I don't cope😕
ReplyDeleteGlad you have patched things up...but prepare for many more like it.xx
You cope far better than you give yourself credit for. C xxx
DeleteOh dear. This makes me scared! I have a 7 year old. We already have these differences and they really hurt me inside. We are too similar. We are both stubborn. I dread the years to come...I just hope we come out of it unscathed and with love.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. This makes me scared! I have a 7 year old. We already have these differences and they really hurt me inside. We are too similar. We are both stubborn. I dread the years to come...I just hope we come out of it unscathed and with love.
ReplyDeleteVicki - I think the fact that we worry about these things mean that, as parents, we will hopefully come through them with our relationships intact. It is sometimes hard to be the grown-up though! Thanks for visiting.
DeleteI am just at this stage with my 9 year old. Tweens are funny creatures aren't they? Those hormones have a lot to answer for!
ReplyDeleteI am just at this stage with my 9 year old. Tweens are funny creatures aren't they? Those hormones have a lot to answer for!
ReplyDeleteThey do indeed Louisa! And while I wouldn't wish tween hormones on anyone, there is comfort in knowing that we are not alone...Thanks for commenting.
DeleteWe'll have all that to look forward to in years to come! Be interesting to see how these sort of arguments will pan out with twin boys? #PoCoLo
ReplyDeleteHi Markus, thanks for stopping by and commenting. My own son is around two years younger than his sister, so I may well be able to report back in time for your twin boys...!
DeleteHi Clare, my two are both past the tween stage and are well into their teens and I can honestly say that it's not been as hard as I expected...It's not all been a bed of roses, but it could have been worse.
ReplyDeleteLuckily neither of my two throw hissy fits and if I sense 'a moment' coming on, I can usually divert it and lighten the mood. If there are ever any issues we can usually work things out without too much hassle (and lots of deep breathing and tree hugging).
Maybe your tween will grow into a calm teen...Or maybe not...But as you said we always love them no matter what (maybe we do need to tell them that a little more often!).
Hope is a good and positive word and things do get better. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day, the tween/teen days will be all behind you and you will be able to look back and laugh, knowing that your own children will one day go through exactly what they put you through!
Debbie, thanks so much for your thoughtful words. It's always so useful to hear from someone who's been through it already. Really appreciate you taking the time to comment.
DeleteOh my goodness, I am NOT looking forward to this stage! I have a feeling my daughter will be a so-and-so! Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo x
ReplyDeleteVictoria - I think it's payback time for the horrid adolescent that I was! I'm sure you will handle things with Grace brilliantly when the time comes :-) x
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