Monday 8 June 2015

Why sport isn't all about winning

My recent post 'Earning Your Life Skills Certificate' touched briefly on the topic of children and rewards.

My eldest attended her first *away* swim meet this weekend. Her experience turned my thoughts back to the topic.  

Several of the youngsters representing her club were also *first-timers*.  By lunchtime, some of them had gained medals for their efforts.  Others - my own daughter included - had not. Cue a few disappointed faces.

As with many sports, swimming has its own set of rules and etiquette.  Over lunch, one of the coaches confessed to me that he knew the kids thought he was being hard on them.

For my own part, I was delighted with his approach - and with my daughter's experience.

Here's why:


1. In swimming, it's easy to get disqualified.  That's tough to deal with when you're very young.  But enforcing the rules from the start means that errors and bad habits get ironed out at an early stage. Judges feed back to coaches, who work with their charges to correct the mistakes. The process is handled sensitively and constructively.

2. There may not be medals for all but progress is acknowledged. Race times were made available throughout the day. And there were high fives and fist bumps for those who had achieved personal bests (PBs) too.

3. Representing a club brings responsibility but also camaraderie.  Forget the podium. My *proud mum* moment came when I watched my normallly self-conscious daughter stand on the bench and yell her lungs out for her new friends during the relays.  She was delighted to be part of it by association.

4. Win or lose, you stick it out until the medals ceremony at the end.  You grit your teeth, you smile and you applaud others whether they're on your team or not.  Dealing with disappointment (of which more here) is something that we all have to do in life.  Shielding our children does them a disservice; it leaves them ill-equipped for adulthood. Losing graciously is a skill that needs to be worked at.

******

Medals are great. Particularly when they're attained through perseverance and training.  When everyone gets one, they don't feel quite as special.  Some of the unsuccessful newcomers may decide that competitive meets simply aren't their thing.  Others may be inspired and desperate to give it another shot.  Their reactions will vary as much as their personalities.

For my own children, I hope that their involvement in sport encourages them to remain active and healthy in adulthood.  I hope that being part of a club helps them understand how to contribute to a team.  I hope that meeting other youngsters in different settings develops their confidence, communication skills and social circles.  

And if they achieve all that? Well, that's what I call a victory.

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You Baby Me Mummy

8 comments:

  1. Sports builds character, good ones not just for kids and adults too. I agree with the points on this list. Same reason why I want my son to have a sport hobby. Because it will just teach you so many things in life even at an early age. #pocolo

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    1. Absolutely! Thanks so much for commenting :-)

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  2. My daughter swims for a club, she is eight and has been in club two years. She is still the youngest in club but she is good. She tries hard and she has knocked 10 seconds off her 25m time in the last 12 months. Yesterday was a school gala. There are three other club swimmers in school and they all got their own races. She was capable of swimming up a year and doing the 50m backstroke but it was given to another girl who struggled to make 25m - I felt cross that my daughter should have been given it as she would have smashed it but she was just happy her friend had a chance to swim and she cheered her on all the way! I was proud of that! My daughter swam the first and last leg of the relay as everyone else was tired. She got them a 1/2 a length lead on the first leg but by the last leg when it was her turn again they were 25m behind. She was fine, I was irritated. I am so proud of her attitude. Great post #TheList @MummyFever

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    1. Hi Charlotte - thanks so much for your comment. Sounds like your daughter is not just a great swimmer - she has a great attitude to sport too. You are right to be very proud! Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

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  3. I agree. Sport is as much about teaching kids to strive to do better as it is about actual achievement. Building resilience and discipline. Learning how to compete, but also how to accept both victory and defeat with good grace. Teamwork. The sense of personal pride when you do achieve a goal of some sort (which may or may not actually involve winning). Plus, of course, it's physical exercise which is good for you. And yet so often sport is mangled into this overriding sense of competition - or, equally, a complete de-emphasis of competition in some cases.

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    1. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave such a considered comment. It's really encouraging to hear others' thoughts on the subject.

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  4. I use to ride competitively and I feel it had a positive effect on who I am now. I really hope Baby follows in my footsteps. It teaches you so much and especially when an animal is involved. Thanks so much for linking up to #TheList x

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    1. Thanks Aby - it's really interesting that competitive sport was a formative experience for you. Thanks for having me at #TheList! C x

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