Tuesday, 6 May 2014

How to crack children's chores - part 2

In my last post, I wrote about the challenges of getting children to tackle household chores - and why it's something I feel we have to at least try to crack here at Average Towers.

This time round, I promise to get down to the nitty gritty of our new(ish) system and how it is (sort of) working for us. Before I do so though, here's one of my all-too-familiar disclaimers: I genuinely don't want to put our system across as a one-size-fits-all solution.  What works for us may not necessarily work for you. There are many, many variables that will affect how your own family chooses to treat chores: The ages of your children, their skills/personalities and your own priorities in terms of what you feel you most need help with round the house. 

Some of what we're doing might not feel right for your family. The chores I list might seem like "givens" in your household. Others might feel far too tough.  And that is absolutely fine.  I may not have spelled it out before but this blog is not here to foster comparison or competition. That way lies madness. I like to hope that it's more of an online equivalent of a chat with friends over a cup of coffee.

So, without further ado, here's what we're up to...

Our children's chores system has two parts to it: The everyday tasks and the weekend specials.

The daily chores consist of jobs that may well be expected of children younger than 10 and eight (the ages of my two) but which, rather embarrassingly, we'd let slip.  I also used the opportunity to sneak in a couple of school/learning related items like homework/reading and musical instrument practice. Maybe these shouldn't be classed as 'chores', however constantly reminding my two about these things was becoming part of my daily nag repertoire.  Now it's there in black and white instead. 


An unexpected bonus of this list is that my ageing brain no longer needs to remind each child about several different things every day. Instead I enjoy a far easier refrain: "Have you checked the chart?" Result.  

Each of my children has a copy of this list in their bedrooms. Another copy is pinned in a prominent place in the kitchen, where we tend to congregate.  

The second part of our system is our weekend chores lucky dip (renamed the unlucky dip within around two minutes by my youngest).


Based on the chore roulette game described in the wonderful We Are THAT Family blog, our lucky dip consists of six tasks, three of which must be tackled by each child.  They already have a *least favourite* (empty bins and recycling, since you asked) and we've had to invoke two additional side-rules:

1. If you don't do it properly, you do it again.

2. If you complain, you get an extra task. (Call it a bonus. Hah!)

So how are the early weeks of the new regime going? To be brutally honest, any initial enthusiasm from the younger members of the family wore off after about, say, five seconds.  I've discovered many sticky bowls post-dishwasher cycle due to questionable stacking techniques and I've had to call the little 'uns up on countless other attempted shortcuts.

"Why bother?" I hear you say. Well, here's the thing.  Now that we've entered week five, the complaints are becoming more subdued.  There is a growing realisation - dare I say acceptance - that this system is here to stay.  If we stay with it, so will they.

In the short-term I anticipate many more sticky bowls and sullen faces.

In the long-term I'll be glad I didn't give up.  Won't I?! 

How does your family tackle chores - and how do you combat resistance? Leave a comment and let me know.

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14 comments:

  1. I am so looking forward to setting up a chore list in this house. There days are numbered and I am following your advice :)

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    1. Great news Alison! Thanks for commenting and the very best of luck with it :-)

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  2. I love this. It's the motivation I need to get my kids doing more chores. What sort of things do you include in the lucky dip for weekends?

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    1. Hi Karen! Our weekend lucky dip is quite simple really. The six tasks are as follows: Feather dust all furniture (my two both have a fascination with our multi-coloured duster!); empty bins and recycling; tidy downstairs cupboard (it's the one with all the coats and shoes, say no more!); tidy the utility drawer (it's the one with all the unfinished artwork and craft projects!); wipe down/dust skirting boards and wipe down door handles/light switches. I drew our list up by focusing on our * hotspots * of clutter and also by trying to think about what the kids would reasonably manage. Good luck - let me know how you get on! x

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  3. What a great idea! As soon as my kids can read that chore list is going up! I already ask them to put their bowl / plate on the side when they've finished - though it does often end in tears (mine) when they spill Cheerios-sticky milk all over the floor. Great post, hope it continues to work out for you!

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    1. Thanks for visiting Jess - and very well done for starting early :-)

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  4. We have a very similar chart in our house but it's not pinned up anywhere. Ours each have weekend chores, relevant to their age but I really like the idea of this 'unlucky dip'! I think we will adopt that because it just rings the changes a little. Thanks for this idea :). My kids do get their weekly allowance based on carrying out their chores with minimal amounts of moaning!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Suzanne. Anything that reduces moaning has to be a bonus - great idea to build it into the weekly allowance allocation :-)

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  5. I do feel like I am a maid here in the house rather than a wife, mother. I will do this not for my son but for my husband as well. About time they help. #pocolo

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    1. Thanks for commenting - and very best of luck with the new system :-)

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  6. Don't give up! You're doing a great job of fostering their independence and responsibility while making them understand the benefits of helpfulness and co-operation. All this will be your gift to them throughout life, as you know (or I assume you wouldn't be bothering!). I haven't used the word "chores", instead, couching it in terms of ways Little Chap can be helpful (being kind and helpful one of our Golden Rules at home and at school) - this covers everything from dressing, brushing teeth, making bed, putting on coat and shoes, clearing his things from the dining table after meals, only making us ask him to do things once (I love this one best mwah ha ha!) etc. Might add emptying his bin too now as I'm pretty sure he'd actually enjoy that one, so thanks for the idea :D #PoCoLo

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement - I love your positive spin on this and I REALLY love the idea of encouraging your son to do things on the first time of asking!

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  7. This is a brilliant post and I really need this!! We are looking at starting pocket money rewards for Grace and I want to make sure we stick to it too. I like your list and think the chore roulette is genius! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo :) x

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    1. Thanks as ever Victoria. Hope your new system works out with Grace :-) x

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