Friday 1 May 2015

Popular family activities: Perception versus reality

As a parent, there's a huge amount of  pressure to be seen to be doing certain things with your offspring. Not only that, there's a lot of pressure to be seen to be enjoying doing these things.

Naturally, Team Average  has succumbed to such pressures. Like lambs to the slaughter, we've attempted to re-enact the *simple* Pinterest suggestions and inspirational Facebook posts. 

We've failed. Miserably. Perhaps you can identify with our average experience of popular family pursuits versus the sugar coated perceptions? If not, have a laugh at our expense anyway. I dare you.


BAKING

The vision: Clad in a spotless Cath Kidston apron and resembling a Tana Ramsay-esque yummy mummy, you work in harmony with your offspring to lovingly prepare a delicious yet nutritious feast. You serve this warm (and a little triumphantly) from the oven as your partner arrives home.

The reality: Hubby appears home tired and grumpy to discover a kitchen resembling a snow storm, due to the lethal combination of over-exuberant child + industrial quantities of icing sugar. No utensil in the house remains unused. Nothing vaguely edible seems likely to appear forthwith from the oven.

JUNK MODELLING

The vision: You and your child fashion the modern-day equivalent of Blue Peter's Christmas advent crown project using handy bits and pieces from around the home. Your child scoops the class prize and you gain major playground kudos as the *modest yet talented* craft-loving family. 

The reality: At 10pm the night prior to submission you realise that your bright idea is doomed.  With offspring despatched to bed in tears, you send your partner to the nearest 24-hour Tesco for a craft kit.  The two of you spend until midnight glowering at each other over the kitchen table, cursing the ineffective tube of white glue that features in all of said craft kits.

SWIMMING

The vision: You are the epitome of the sporty, community-minded family. Even in rainy weather, you forego all temptation to plonk the kids in front of the telly. Instead, you plump for a fun-filled active afternoon at the local baths.

The reality: It's raining. A zillion other families have the same idea. You eventually access the packed shallow end to discover that one of the small people needs the toilet.  As you shiver your way to the loos, you meet at least three people you know, all of whom have the advantage of being dry and fully clothed.  Your actual time in the water consists of bobbing around to keep warm while wondering how much longer you have to last before you can clamber out for a hot chocolate.

******

In case you are wondering, Team Average does enjoy spending time together as a family. 

Occasionally. 

Well, at least once a year.

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14 comments:

  1. Spot on! And thank you for making me laugh - this is all so true :) #PoCoLo

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    1. Glad you enjoyed Tarana - and thanks again for the RT :-)

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  2. Brilliant and so true!! Good to know we are not alone!

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    1. Thank you! There's safety in numbers :-)

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks! And thanks for stopping by and commenting :-)

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  4. hahaha! So brilliant because it's so true!

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    1. Thanks Kim :-) So pleased it made you smile!

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  5. We re-enacted your baking reality scenario only yesterday, except with added yelling and emergency cleaning off the flour off both computer keyboards. Fun times, fun times.

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    1. Glad you went the whole hog ;-) Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. Fun times indeed.

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  6. We re-enacted your baking reality scenario only yesterday, except with added yelling and emergency cleaning off the flour off both computer keyboards. Fun times, fun times.

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  7. The Mother says - What a brilliantly funny post, especially the part about baking. More often than not, the OH has walked in from work to find the kitchen looking unspeakable and a rather sunken, charred lump (meant to be a Victoria Sponge) sitting rather proudly on the table. We get round this by making sure we leave him a spoon to lick!! Really loved reading this :) Thanks for linking to #PoCoLo

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    1. Haha - I'm really glad that it's not just Team Average who produce sunken, charred lumps ;-) Thanks very much for taking the time to stop by and comment. I've made a mental note about the spoon-licking peace offering...

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  8. Lol...my personal favourite 'vision v's reality' is decorating the Christmas tree!! Xx

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