Popular family activities: Perception versus reality

As a parent, there's a huge amount of  pressure to be seen to be doing certain things with your offspring. Not only that, there's a lot of pressure to be seen to be enjoying doing these things.

Naturally, Team Average  has succumbed to such pressures. Like lambs to the slaughter, we've attempted to re-enact the *simple* Pinterest suggestions and inspirational Facebook posts. 

We've failed. Miserably. Perhaps you can identify with our average experience of popular family pursuits versus the sugar coated perceptions? If not, have a laugh at our expense anyway. I dare you.

BAKING

The vision: Clad in a spotless Cath Kidston apron and resembling a Tana Ramsay-esque yummy mummy, you work in harmony with your offspring to lovingly prepare a delicious yet nutritious feast. You serve this warm (and a little triumphantly) from the oven as your partner arrives home.

The reality: Hubby appears home tired and grumpy to discover a kitchen resembling a snow storm, due to the lethal combination of over-exuberant child + industrial quantities of icing sugar. No utensil in the house remains unused. Nothing vaguely edible seems likely to appear forthwith from the oven.

JUNK MODELLING

The vision: You and your child fashion the modern-day equivalent of Blue Peter's Christmas advent crown project using handy bits and pieces from around the home. Your child scoops the class prize and you gain major playground kudos as the *modest yet talented* craft-loving family. 

The reality: At 10pm the night prior to submission you realise that your bright idea is doomed.  With offspring despatched to bed in tears, you send your partner to the nearest 24-hour Tesco for a craft kit.  The two of you spend until midnight glowering at each other over the kitchen table, cursing the ineffective tube of white glue that features in all of said craft kits.

SWIMMING

The vision: You are the epitome of the sporty, community-minded family. Even in rainy weather, you forego all temptation to plonk the kids in front of the telly. Instead, you plump for a fun-filled active afternoon at the local baths.

The reality: It's raining. A zillion other families have the same idea. You eventually access the packed shallow end to discover that one of the small people needs the toilet.  As you shiver your way to the loos, you meet at least three people you know, all of whom have the advantage of being dry and fully clothed.  Your actual time in the water consists of bobbing around to keep warm while wondering how much longer you have to last before you can clamber out for a hot chocolate.

******

In case you are wondering, Team Average does enjoy spending time together as a family. 

Occasionally. 

Well, at least once a year.

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Back to school...but what about the parents?

The emboldened threat in the shop window displays of the past six weeks has finally come true.  As of yesterday, we are indeed 'Back to school'.

One of my little 'uns couldn't wait to get back; the other was somewhat cautious.  As for me?  I always feel slightly bereft at the end of summer, however I've come to the conclusion that a new academic year represents a great time to make a fresh start for both children and parents.

Many parents take up new work opportunities that coincide with their offspring starting school, or perhaps with them reaching a milestone where all parties are happy with mum (or dad) being away from home more.  

In that sense, it's down to timing.  As children spread their wings, so can parents - and lots do.  New endeavours need not be confined to work-related activities.  Over the last 24 hours, I've lost count of the face-to-face conversations and Facebook posts surrounding new courses, fitness classes and events that parents are planning to undertake. Good on 'em I say! I reckon that late summer is a far better time for fresh challenges than New Year, when all we really want to do is climb under the duvet rather than make resolutions. (Or perhaps that's just me?)

In my average little household, the start of a new term usually features some form of family discussion about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead for the kiddos.  I'm not sure if my advice reflects that of approved parenting manuals but it tends to run along the following lines:  'Seize all the new experiences that you can. It doesn't matter one jot whether you are the best or worst in the class. Just do your best and - most importantly - have fun in the process.'

As happens so often nowadays, the attitude I expected my children to adopt made me take a long, hard look at my own.  When was the last time I tried something new? Something that was a little outwith my comfort zone? Something that I was doing purely for the experience of trying something different rather than for immediate gratification, like taking on a project to earn extra money or cooking a dish to be devoured that evening?

Awkward pause.

At the end of our holidays, we were lucky enough to enjoy some of Edinburgh's festival activities.  One of my personal highlights was a family event as part of the Book Festival, which was led by Horrible Histories' illustrator, Martin Brown.  He started his very entertaining session by making us a promise:  By the time we left we would either feel that we could draw better, or we'd feel better about our perceived lack of drawing skills.  And do you know what? I reckon he achieved his aim.  My two immediately picked up sketchpads and pencils after grabbing themselves a bench in Charlotte Square gardens.  Me, I was left pondering some of his more challenging questions: Why do we stop doing things that we enjoy just because we think we're not "doing it right?"  Who decides what is wrong or right or good or bad anyway?

On our way home from Edinburgh, with less than 24 hours to go until the first bell rang to mark the new school year, we stopped at IKEA.  I bought myself a sewing machine. (Not very rock 'n' roll but bear with me.) I've always been convinced that I can't sew since my first disastrous tuition in primary school. But I've always secretly wanted to.

And do you know what? This year I'm ruddy well going to learn...

Have you got any exciting plans of your own for the new academic year? Leave a comment and let me know.

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Why running is my saviour...

Runners get a lot of stick.  Heck, even I have to confess that I poke fun at myself every now and then for my 'sad' addiction to plodding the streets in Lycra.  However during my run today, which had the added bonus of some amazing Scottish scenery, I decided it was time to strike back and defend this pursuit which has given me so much.

Here's why it works for me - and (I hope) always will...

1. It fits round everything else.  I chose running as my form of exercise when the kids were young because it could be slotted into our crazy schedules.  Between the little 'uns, hubby's erratic shift pattern plus my own self-employed commitments, signing up for a block of classes just didn't make sense - I'd miss at least half the sessions.  With running, I can just go - whenever a window of opportunity presents itself.

2. I love the great outdoors. This is not the case for everyone but I truly love to be outside.  Allegedly, I can be quite grumpy if I don't get my daily dose of fresh air.  I realise that the gym has social benefits for many - plus the attraction of not getting caught in torrential rain - but for me outdoor trails win over indoor treadmills every time.

 

What do you mean you can't run when it's snowing?

 

 

3. It's cheap. I write this with my tongue firmly in my cheek.  Perhaps I should write that it was cheap in the beginning. As my running has increased, so has my wardrobe of fitness clothing and accessories.  For those on a budget though, apart from an initial investment in a good pair of trainers, running can be a very cost-effective hobby.

 

4. It's flexible.  Running can be done with friends, or through a club.  It can also be done on your own.  It can be competitive, or it can be purely for pleasure or general fitness.  It can be done on trails, hills or roads.  It can take the form of a half-hour, high-energy outing or a three-hour test of endurance and stamina.  Think running's boring? I hasten to differ.  If you want to, there are plenty of ways that you can mix it up.

 

5. It's good for body and mind.  I suspect that this is the real reason I keep at it.  Running has helped me to unravel work issues, let off steam after a tetchy day with the kids and preserve my sanity during the toughest of times.  Dealing with my father's terminal illness - and recent loss - is one of the most difficult things I've had to do. Running was my therapy.  It helped me release some of the anger I felt at the terrible disease that was destroying him. It also made me feel closer to him at a time when I knew he was slipping away.  My dad was a great sportsman and a huge supporter of all my own running efforts  - from cross country at primary school through to my first 5K as a mum.  Sometimes, when I'm out there, I can still feel him cheering me on.

 

Running's not for everyone - and I suppose it never will be.  But for this runner, the emotional and physical benefits are more than worth the flak from the non-running community.

 

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Shared on Works-For-Me-Wednesday (WFMW).

Finding that extra hour in the day you never knew you had

As regular readers of this blog will know (hi mum, hi sis), I've been using my latest posts to have a bit of a grumble about the über-juggle of working throughout half-term with a terrifyingly long to-do list.

 

Well, it's confession time.  Because despite being SOOOOOO busy and having SOOOOOO much to do, I managed to put aside at least one hour every day during the last fortnight for something new.

 

I've not joined a gym.  Neither have I extended my 25-minute plod round the local pavements that I optimistically refer to as "a run".  I've not even joined a club and met lots of fabulous new people.

 

My new activity over the past fortnight has not involved leaving the house.  It hasn't even involved leaving the sofa.  Have you guessed yet?

 

Winter Olympics fever.  Who knew?  Every evening at 7pm my little family and I have huddled into the TV room to watch the latest highlights from Sochi.  Exciting? Yes. Inspiring? Yes.  Compulsive? Yes. Yes. YES.

 

Winter Olympics: Our new addiction

 

With the reality of the closing ceremony looming, I was left feeling a little empty. It's amazing how quickly habits start to form. I was really going to miss our nightly family huddle and our own silly wee game of cheering on our bib colour of choice in the ski cross.

 

Then my mind started to wander a little further...  If I could find an hour each day, during an exceptionally busy fortnight, to enjoy a shared interest with my family, why couldn't I turn that habit into a long-term thing?

 

It needn't involve us leaving the house.  It needn't involve pots of money.  And it needn't involve the TV either.  But if we can continue to spend one hour each day having fun together then the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics will have done us a HUGE favour.

 

In the whirl of life that is work, parenting, household management and everything else in between, no-one really has 'spare' time.  We have to make a conscious decision to set aside the time.  And to make that time really matter.

 

It would be all too easy to let our golden hour of family time dissolve into a fond memory but I, for one, am going to fight for it.

 

I may not be an Olympian, but I'm a mum on a mission. And that's almost just as powerful...Isn't it?

 

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Resolving to keep it simple

Happy New Year one and all!  The festive season is, as ever, over in a flash and suddenly we are surrounded by 'New Year, New You' advertisements and shops stuffed with low fat ready meals and fitness equipment.

 

By now, most of you have probably been asked whether you've made any New Year's resolutions.  Hmmmm. While I agree that it's great to set goals and challenge yourself, I'm not quite sure that I'm a fan of the New Year's resolution.  After all, the short grey days of January are often among the toughest to start some ambitious new exercise regime or to decide that you're going to give up chocolate forever (as if!).

 

I do, however, like the feeling of looking forward that goes hand in hand with the hanging of a brand new calendar on the kitchen wall.  I enjoy mulling over where we might spend our next holiday, what kind of new activities I want to try, which new books I'd love to read or even (yikes!) how I might manage our family's budget a little better.  After the downtime of the holidays, I've even found that some new ideas have popped into my mind, unbidden, for a few of my current work projects.

 

In terms of turning my family, social and work ideas into reality, my starting point will be to write them all down.  I do love a good list! The next stage will probably involve research and discussion with the others involved - hubby/children/colleagues/clients. If the idea is deemed a "goer" then the real plan-hatching and implementation can commence.

Above all, however, my ideas are just that - ideas.  They are not set in stone and there will be no self-flagellation if they don't work out.  Resolutions dumbed down? Perhaps.  But if there's real intent behind them, they may well prove just as effective, if not more.

Here's to a great 2014!

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