Holidaying across the generations

In my last post 'Here comes Summer...' I wrote about my attempts to get organised for the long summer break that lies ahead.

This time round, I'm homing in on the actual 'holiday' part of our six weeks off. It's going to be a holiday with a difference because it's not just us.  Having dipped our toe in the water with an extended family 'mini break' earlier this year, my mum has agreed to join us for our time away.

Since this situation is new to us - and since summer holidays are sacred for all of us - we've thought this through pretty carefully.  And I've listened intently to the advice of others who've already trodden this path.

Here's how we're hoping to achieve a successful summer together:

Start small - We're not all going to Hawaii for three weeks.  Instead we're driving a few hours down the road to the East Neuk of Fife.  And we're staying for a week.  Even if we did have the budget for a long-haul trip of a lifetime, I think our first shot at holidaying together should be reasonably short in duration with manageable travel times.

Happy husbands - She's my mum but she's Mr Average's mum-in-law.  And we all know that there's a difference.  I've checked, double-checked and checked again that he's happy with this arrangement. We also have a safety net in the form of a second week off afterwards for just the four of us. Because it's his holiday too and I know he really needs it. 

Consider costs - If he (or she) who pays the piper calls the tune, others may be resentful at having their holiday plans dictated to them.  Instead, divvy up the costs in a way that seems fair and no-one will feel beholden to anyone else.

Sensible space - The budget may not have stretched to Hawaii but we've made sure that it's stretched to renting a decent-sized property. This means that we won't all be living on top of one another.  I have high hopes that, even with children in tow, the adults will be able to recharge our batteries a little thanks to the comfortable space that we've organised.

Time apart - I'm lucky. My mum is one independent lady.  She excels at sussing out bus timetables, local markets and golf courses.  Because although she loves us all, she may not want to spend an entire day rock-pooling with the grandkids. And we get that, we really do.  (Between you and me, I think Mr Average may be slightly jealous.  Particularly when it comes to the golf courses.)

Not-so-great expectations - The children will whine. And be bad-mannered. My mum will be shocked. I will be stressed. It will all go horribly wrong.  STOP!!!! We've already had this conversation. The children will whine and be bad-mannered. My mum knows this.  She'll understand. And she won't blame me.  (I hope!)

Exit route - This is going to sound utterly pessimistic. I try to think of it as pragmatic instead. If the worst really does come to the worst - if it pours down rain every day and everyone argues constantly - we're relatively close to home.  We accept defeat, pack up and head north.  I desperately hope that this doesn't happen.  But I think there's a comfort in knowing that we have an exit route if need be.

Now we couldn't do that if we'd gone to Hawaii....

How do you handle holidaying across the generations? Any tips or hints? Leave a comment and let me know.

Enjoyed this article? Why not like Average and Proud on facebook or follow me on Twitter?

Here comes Summer....But are you ready for it?

Here in my little corner of north-east Scotland, we're hurtling towards the school holidays at a breathtaking rate.

Some of my friends regard the school holidays with delight, others with despair.  I think I'm somewhere in the middle.  One thing I have learned over the years, however, is that pretending they're not just around the corner, or deciding to 'wing it', does not make for a stress-free six weeks.

And so we (groan) come to one of my familiar topics: Planning.  Notebooks at the ready people, I feel some lists coming on....

The escape from it all

I tend to start with the nice bit.  Block off that precious two weeks when the whole family is going to be together - hopefully somewhere different from home.  (Not that I don't love my home but a change of scene works wonders for all of us.) This year we're holidaying in the East Neuk of bonny Scotland and hoping fervently for the same sunshine that blessed us last year in Arran.

The tag team

The next thing I do is work out how Mr Average and myself can juggle the childcare during the remaining weeks of the holidays.  As he often works weekends with days off during the week - and I'm self-employed - there's a certain flexibility to our schedules that means we can cover most, but not all, of the childcare between us.  Which brings me to....

The supporting cast

It might be grandparents. It might be friends with whom you can exchange favours. Or it might be a formal childcare scheme.  Regardless, with just a few weeks to go until school's out for summer, these are the people you need to speak to now.  For my little family, it'll be a combination of all three.  (Our local out of school club summer holiday programme is sitting reproachfully on the top of my filing *system* as I type. I really, really need to fill that in. Today if possible.)

The fill-in fun

I'm a great believer that children need some free time to amuse themselves, however there is a balance to be struck. Summer holidays present a great opportunity for them to try new activities, catch up with friends and relatives and visit local places of interest (I love being a tourist in my own area!).

Here's what I'll be doing to prepare for some of the days that I'm in charge of the little 'uns but we're not officially 'away':

Grab a guide - My nearest city - Aberdeen - produces a wonderful guide to events for children and young people over the Summer. It includes sporting and creative ideas galore, including many free workshops and play sessions at art galleries and parks. Publications such as Raring2Go! magazine are usually stuffed with ideas and I try to follow useful Facebook pages too. (Local peeps should try Aberdeen for Kids and Aberdeen Inspired.  I've mentioned the Aberdeen for Kids page before but it's worth another shout-out here.)

Swap schedules - Now's the time for swapping mobile numbers with the parents of your kids' best friends - and for checking who's free for catch-ups when.  Of course you might not remember everyone's exact schedule but plant the seed now and others will feel comfortable contacting you when they're at a loose end too.

Whatever the weather - Here's where my control freak tendencies come into play.  Given our location, I usually draft up two lists (there's that word again) of potential activities - a wet weather list and a dry weather list. I like to think that I'll remember all those brilliant places that people have recommended to me.  In reality, if it's not written down, I probably won't.

Ask them - As in the kids.  It sounds risky but go ahead and ask them what they'd really like to do during the school holidays. You might just find they surprise you.  We spent a happy (if messy) half hour with an A3 sheet of paper and some coloured pens having a wee brainstorm about all the things the kids want to try - or repeat - but don't have much time for during the school term.  My eldest used the aforementioned Aberdeen guide for inspiration.  They both understand that we can't do everything but I have a clearer idea of their interests instead of choosing what I *think* they'd like to do.

And guess what? Turns out that mum doesn't always know best (shhhhh)...

Enjoyed this article? Why not like Average and Proud on facebook or follow me on Twitter?

A Mother's Day post-mortem

So that's it for another year then. Mother's Day 2014 has been and gone. If you're lucky, the memory of being made to feel like a queen for the day will sustain you until next year.  Or then again, maybe not...

 

Here at Average Towers Mother's Day 2014 was a mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

The good consisted of the heavily hinted about breakfast in bed, some lovely home-made cards and some extremely thoughtful small gifts, which I suspect (well, I know) that hubby was responsible for.  Lunch was a failsafe M & S meal deal (I believe our local store was packed with bewildered looking men on Saturday morning) and I enjoyed the unusual but pleasant sensation of sitting throughout the entire meal while others fetched and carried.

 

So far we'd stuck to the script.

 

 

Then came the bad in the form of a point blank refusal from my daughter to come for a walk with me, which she'd hitherto happily agreed to.  The reason for her volte-face? Her brother was coming too. 

 

This was swiftly followed by the ugly - in the form of my reaction.  Why oh why, for just one day, couldn't they be nice to one another - if only for my sake? That was just the start of my rant - once I got going I trotted out every 'angry mother' cliché in the book.  I followed up my tirade with an extremely mature sulk.

 

If you're thinking that this was something of an overreaction to a minor everyday blip, you'd be absolutely right.  I may not be Mother of the Year but I like to think that I'd have normally handled the situation far more equably.  Instead, I made the whole thing worse and spoiled part of the day for us all.

 

So, what's my excuse then? While there's no justification for the way I reacted, some subsequent soul-searching led me down a fairly obvious path...

 

Unrealistic expectations.  I'd stupidly fallen for all the hype that surrounds this type of celebration (I think we all know which event in the calendar year is the worst for this).  The imagery and media messages that I'd been exposed to in the lead up to Mother's Day made me think that I was entitled to the perfect day, with nothing whatsoever to ruffle my maternal feathers. I'm not materialistic about Mother's Day - not in the slightest - but I had been greedy in terms of what I wanted from my children.   Because, as every parent out there knows, perfect behaviour for an entire day just doesn't happen with little ones. Stupid, stupid me.

 

In case you're wondering, once I'd come to my senses, the rest of Mothering Sunday was a hoot.  My personal highlight was our family game of football, played in the back garden with limited skills but huge smiles.   My day may not have been perfect, but there were some truly perfect moments.  And those left me feeling like the luckiest mother and wife in the world.

 

As for Mother's Day 2015 - average behaviour is just fine. Sprinkles of perfection? They're a bonus.

 

How was Mother's Day 2014 for you? Leave a comment and let me know.

 

Enjoyed this article? Why not like Average and Proud on facebook or follow me on Twitter?

Recipe round-up for average cooks

Let's be straight from the start: This here blog ain't ever gonna be a food blog.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy the consumption of food. Even more so if someone else has cooked it for me.  It's just the shopping, preparation, serving and clearing up afterwards that I don't like.

I blame my S2 home economics teacher.  "Clare tends to be rather slap dash in the kitchen," she opined on my end-of-year report. Perhaps I just gave up at that point.

In fairness, I think cooking can be fun when you have the time, the money for exotic ingredients and kitchen counters the size and cleanliness of Nigella's.  It's the daily grind of planning what you're going to eat, throwing it together, then watching your fellow diners pick at it grumpily for 40 minutes (child one) or wolf it down in 40 seconds (child two) that gets to me.

However, until I win the lottery and can afford to dine out every night, this is the reality of my situation.  And, like all good mummies, I do try.

So, for all of those average (or below average like me) cooks, here are some of my favourite "go to" dishes.  I'm a lover of recipes that are prefixed by the words quick/speedy/simple/easy, so most of these have a limited amount of  ingredients that should be effortless to source.  For any US readers who need to convert measures, there's a handy table here.

 

APPETISERS

For starters, a snack lunch or when you finally get round to entertaining...

This bruschetta recipe came to my attention via the wonderful Complete Guide To Imperfect Homemaking blog by Kelly Oribine.  Kelly now has a new blog here but she's kindly left all her previous words of wisdom in cyberspace for us to access.  What I really like about Kelly is that she seems to understand  those of us who aren't natural cooks. Her posts include lots of extra little tips to make the process of entertaining less stressful (yippee).  I also love the fact that this is a pretty healthy take on bruschetta with plenty of extra veggies hidden in there.

 

MAIN COURSES

(Apologies for the strong pasta theme folks. If I ever get around to writing another food-related post, I'll aim for a little more variety.)
 

A child-pleasing comfort dinner when you have a bit of time to spare...

My own mum's mac and cheese is super-easy and economical to make. Funnily enough, she doesn't have her own website to link up to so I've battered out the recipe right here:  Melt 25g butter and a rounded tablespoon of cornflour over a low heat for one minute.  Add just under half a pint of milk, salt and pepper and a spoon of mustard (I like to use Dijon). Bring to the boil for one minute.  Add 75g grated cheddar (take it off the boil for this part), stir and add to cooked macaroni.  Top with some more grated cheddar and sliced tomatoes. Dash around the house multi-tasking while it bakes in the oven for around half an hour at 200°C. I should probably also be responsible and suggest that you serve up this stodgy dish with some steamed veg.

 

A child-pleasing dinner that is just about palatable to adults when you have zero time to spare...

This second recipe is like a posh pasta and sauce but you'll feel ever so smug that you refrained from popping that jar of Dolmio open.  It takes minutes and is just perfect for those nights when everyone is "starving" and you're exhausted from a full day at work followed by the kids' swimming run. Vanity hint: This one always looks a little better if made with spaghetti and sprinkled with parmesan.

 

DESSERTS

These two represent my little lad's favourite hot and cold puddings: 

Delia's cheat's Eton mess involves Greek yoghurt, chopped strawberries and meringues crumbled into a bowl.  If you can be bothered, she suggests making a sort of compote by blitzing half the fruit with some icing sugar in a mini blender, then swirling it through the mixture to create a marbled effect.  We sometimes cheat the cheat's recipe (that's how low I'm willing to stoop) by drizzling over some Easi-Yo fruit squirt instead.

One of my favourite recipes in our well-thumbed edition of Can't Cook Won't Cook Leaves Home (yip, people still gift me student cookbooks) is this shortcut sticky toffee pudding. In a nutshell, you need to butter an oven-proof dish, crumble in some Madeira cake and make a sauce by melting 50g of butter with 100g of brown sugar and 150ml of double cream.  Pour sauce over crumbled cake and whack in the oven at 190°C for 10 minutes.  Serve with whichever calorie-laden accompaniment you prefer: cream, ice cream or custard.

Purists might complain that it doesn't taste like the real thing but it is incredibly sweet, incredibly fattening and tastes rather nice.  What's not to like?

 

CAKES

For an easy cake when you have a bit of time, I recommend this fail-safe lemon drizzle. And when you crave cake but have no time, try this easy chocolate microwave cake instead (I make mine using a square silicon baking tray).  I realise that Mary Berry wannabes will be cringing at the prospect of cake-making and microwaves. To this I respond as follows: It takes eight minutes - EIGHT MINUTES PEOPLE - to bake.  It's therefore a winner in my book.

 

Do you love or loathe cooking? What's your 'go-to' family-friendly recipe? Leave a comment and let me know.

 

Enjoyed this article? Why not like Average and Proud on facebook or follow me on Twitter?

Shared on Works-For-Me-Wednesday (WFMW).

Celebrations, catch ups and cash flows

I've had a few blog free days as it's been busier than, well, average over the past week. The main event was hubby's 40th birthday, the celebrations for which have been spread out over more than one day (surprise surprise).  In among all the fun and frolics, I was determined to make his birthday cake myself but knew that I needed something fool proof, yet impressive, to fit my average cake making skills.  The resultant choice was Nigella's chocolate Guinness cake, which a neighbour had let me (and hubby) sample several weeks ago.  It seemed like quite a manly selection (!) and hubby, who does not like "overly chocolatey" cake (what's not to like?) had made positive noises about his sample slice. The result, pictured below, was a resounding success and I was quietly chuffed with my wee self (and it's not often that happens to me in the kitchen department).



Chocolate Guinness Cake: Manly and more-ish

Tonight some of hubby's friends are coming to our place for pizza and beer, while on Friday it's my turn to have the girls over.  As so frequently happens, we're doing more socialising within a fortnight than we've done for the past four months - everything seems to come together, particularly since both of our birthdays fall within the same month (right after the family double whammy of Halloween and Guy Fawkes' night).  While we both absolutely love entertaining, there's no denying that it comes at a cost and in the run-up to YOU KNOW WHAT, we do need to be careful with our pennies.  For this reason, I was delighted to come across this 31 Days of Simple Hospitality series on one of my favourite blogs, The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking.

For those who love spending time with friends and family but are held back by cost concerns or other hosting insecurities this blog is definitely worth a read.

Time to start planning that next get together?

Enjoyed this article? Why not like Average and Proud on facebook or follow me on Twitter?