Turning forty doesn't hurt...REALLY?!

"It doesn't hurt. Honest." So said a number of friends on the approach to my milestone birthday.  

I don't consider myself to be a particularly fragile person.  However three months into this business of being forty and guess what? It does hurt. A lot.

Appearance

Let's get the vanity issues out of the way first, shall we? On the grey hair front, individual strands have morphed into wiry forests of full-blown white.  Fine lines have turned into crevices.  And don't even get me started on the injustice of having both wrinkles AND adult acne.  Surely one or the other is sufficient?

Maintenance costs

These are directly related to the unfortunate phenomena above.  Cleansing one's face with a baby wipe no longer cuts it as a beauty regime. Ditto to buying cheapo home hair dyes. The more mature lady requires a considerably larger budget in order to look semi-human. Enter my new obsession with the latest anti-wrinkle creams. And let's not dwell on my rocketing annual hair salon outlay.

The eye-watering expense doesn't end with beauty products though. The wardrobe needs to up its game too. Gone are the days when you can trip into New Look, select the first pair of £20 court shoes in the right colour and waltz out again.  Oh no. Forty-year old feet require quality footwear. And by quality I mean expensive. Likewise, the clothes shops of your teenage years with their teeny sizes (and teeny prices) are no longer your domain. Instead, you beat a path to the Hobbs sale because "their fit is so much more flattering."

Fitness

In fairness, I was warned about this one. A super-fit forty-something friend told me that she has to "do more just to stay in the same place".  No kidding.  I've upped my own regime with no tangible improvement in - er - anything.  Then there's the aches, pains and creaking joints to deal with.  I crouched down to retrieve something in a meeting recently.  The crack from my knees almost caused an echo.  If I don't die of decrepitude, I may well die of embarrassment.

Online form filling

Always a tedious exercise, this has reached a new level of discomfort.  I've now joined a bracketed age group that extends to 55.  Then there's the scrolling backwards to find one's year of birth, which takes an eternity.

I do, however, always like to end on a high. With that, let's consider my new eligibility for the veteran's category in running events. It may seem depressing, however it also means that I'm no longer competing against lithe eighteen year olds.  

As one fellow forty said: "Let's enter everything this year, while we're still the youngest."

Amen to that.

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Climbing out of the comfort zone

This week someone I know and respect gently accused me of backing down from a project because they suspected I felt 'out of my comfort zone'.

I seized on the phrase like a drowning person would cling to a raft: "You're exactly right, I am out of my comfort zone!" Then I waited to be let off the hook.

That's where things took an interesting turn.  They had no intention of letting me off the hook. Quite the contrary.  At the end of our 'phone call, I was still very much on that particular hook.

Even more surprising is this: I'm not ecstatic about it but I'm OK.  This is NOT my average response to doing things I'm less than 100 per cent sure of.

What gives? Well, on turning forty I made myself a promise.  My new catchphrase would be - cringes inwardly - 'Forty and fearless!'. I'm only three months in but so far I've stuck to my guns.

So how does a cowardly control freak like me climb out of her comfort zone? The as-yet-unpatented three-step plan goes as follows:

Research  Spot the marketing girl (again).  It might be new to you but chances are that someone, somewhere has done it before you.  And they'll have generously shared their experience online. Get googling and get to grips with your challenge. The more you discover, the better prepared you'll be.

Supporters Your supporters don't need to have particular knowledge of what you're trying to do. They just need to be people who believe in you.  And who'll help you to believe in yourself. Surround yourself with them.

Worst case scenario  Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all? I still have issues with this one, to be honest.  I've a real fear of failure.  But I do force myself to think through the repercussions of not achieving my goal.  Letting your mind go there is painful but liberating.

Of course the flip side of the worst case scenario is thinking through how good you'll feel if you achieve what you've set out to do...

Regardless of your plans for 2015 - fitness challenges, career goals, lifestyle changes - I wish you the very best of luck. Let's all enjoy the view from beyond our personal comfort zones.

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The big four ohhhhhhhh: Celebration or calamity?

I'm putting it out there before anyone else does it for me: A certain milestone birthday is approaching all too fast.

Having witnessed many of my peer group endure/enjoy (delete as appropriate) the occasion of their 40th birthday, I have come to the conclusion that there are several ways in which to mark this occasion:

1. The big bash

For party-lovers, this is the obvious way to celebrate.  Hire the local hall, invite as many friends and family as possible, supply a substantial buffet and Bob's your uncle. This is the ultimate people-pleaser as it avoids leaving anyone out.  I have thoroughly enjoyed attending - and indeed organising - many such occasions for others.  Sadly, throwing one of my own is out of the question:  The thought of the obligatory speech is just too much.

2. The girly getaway

I'm thinking spa break/vintage teas/cocktails and clubbing or perhaps a combination of all of the above. This usually involves piling on a train to an accessible city where lots of other new forties (or indeed hen parties) are pursuing similar activities.  Great fun but one should proceed with caution: By the time you've prepped your face, body and wardrobe for this trip - and indulged in some retail therapy while you're there -  it may cost more than your annual family holiday.

3. The great escape

Those who have an a) romantic and b) generous partner may find themselves whisked off to some luxurious location where they can gently ease themselves into their next major life stage.  This type of celebration has almost universal appeal, however there are several drawbacks: a) you have to have a partner b) they have to be romantic and c) they must not be permanently skint.  

I'll cross my fingers and avoid looking at the joint account, shall I?

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