Climbing out of the comfort zone

This week someone I know and respect gently accused me of backing down from a project because they suspected I felt 'out of my comfort zone'.

I seized on the phrase like a drowning person would cling to a raft: "You're exactly right, I am out of my comfort zone!" Then I waited to be let off the hook.

That's where things took an interesting turn.  They had no intention of letting me off the hook. Quite the contrary.  At the end of our 'phone call, I was still very much on that particular hook.

Even more surprising is this: I'm not ecstatic about it but I'm OK.  This is NOT my average response to doing things I'm less than 100 per cent sure of.

What gives? Well, on turning forty I made myself a promise.  My new catchphrase would be - cringes inwardly - 'Forty and fearless!'. I'm only three months in but so far I've stuck to my guns.

So how does a cowardly control freak like me climb out of her comfort zone? The as-yet-unpatented three-step plan goes as follows:

Research  Spot the marketing girl (again).  It might be new to you but chances are that someone, somewhere has done it before you.  And they'll have generously shared their experience online. Get googling and get to grips with your challenge. The more you discover, the better prepared you'll be.

Supporters Your supporters don't need to have particular knowledge of what you're trying to do. They just need to be people who believe in you.  And who'll help you to believe in yourself. Surround yourself with them.

Worst case scenario  Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all? I still have issues with this one, to be honest.  I've a real fear of failure.  But I do force myself to think through the repercussions of not achieving my goal.  Letting your mind go there is painful but liberating.

Of course the flip side of the worst case scenario is thinking through how good you'll feel if you achieve what you've set out to do...

Regardless of your plans for 2015 - fitness challenges, career goals, lifestyle changes - I wish you the very best of luck. Let's all enjoy the view from beyond our personal comfort zones.

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Back to school...but what about the parents?

The emboldened threat in the shop window displays of the past six weeks has finally come true.  As of yesterday, we are indeed 'Back to school'.

One of my little 'uns couldn't wait to get back; the other was somewhat cautious.  As for me?  I always feel slightly bereft at the end of summer, however I've come to the conclusion that a new academic year represents a great time to make a fresh start for both children and parents.

Many parents take up new work opportunities that coincide with their offspring starting school, or perhaps with them reaching a milestone where all parties are happy with mum (or dad) being away from home more.  

In that sense, it's down to timing.  As children spread their wings, so can parents - and lots do.  New endeavours need not be confined to work-related activities.  Over the last 24 hours, I've lost count of the face-to-face conversations and Facebook posts surrounding new courses, fitness classes and events that parents are planning to undertake. Good on 'em I say! I reckon that late summer is a far better time for fresh challenges than New Year, when all we really want to do is climb under the duvet rather than make resolutions. (Or perhaps that's just me?)

In my average little household, the start of a new term usually features some form of family discussion about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead for the kiddos.  I'm not sure if my advice reflects that of approved parenting manuals but it tends to run along the following lines:  'Seize all the new experiences that you can. It doesn't matter one jot whether you are the best or worst in the class. Just do your best and - most importantly - have fun in the process.'

As happens so often nowadays, the attitude I expected my children to adopt made me take a long, hard look at my own.  When was the last time I tried something new? Something that was a little outwith my comfort zone? Something that I was doing purely for the experience of trying something different rather than for immediate gratification, like taking on a project to earn extra money or cooking a dish to be devoured that evening?

Awkward pause.

At the end of our holidays, we were lucky enough to enjoy some of Edinburgh's festival activities.  One of my personal highlights was a family event as part of the Book Festival, which was led by Horrible Histories' illustrator, Martin Brown.  He started his very entertaining session by making us a promise:  By the time we left we would either feel that we could draw better, or we'd feel better about our perceived lack of drawing skills.  And do you know what? I reckon he achieved his aim.  My two immediately picked up sketchpads and pencils after grabbing themselves a bench in Charlotte Square gardens.  Me, I was left pondering some of his more challenging questions: Why do we stop doing things that we enjoy just because we think we're not "doing it right?"  Who decides what is wrong or right or good or bad anyway?

On our way home from Edinburgh, with less than 24 hours to go until the first bell rang to mark the new school year, we stopped at IKEA.  I bought myself a sewing machine. (Not very rock 'n' roll but bear with me.) I've always been convinced that I can't sew since my first disastrous tuition in primary school. But I've always secretly wanted to.

And do you know what? This year I'm ruddy well going to learn...

Have you got any exciting plans of your own for the new academic year? Leave a comment and let me know.

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What to do when you can't get motivated

Why is that some days you feel like you could take on the world and the next it's a struggle to get out of bed? Hormones? Energy levels? Weather? The prospect of an unpleasant list of chores ahead?

 

Perhaps it's a combination of all of the above.  But here's the thing: For most of us, nestling back down under the duvet isn't an option.

 

Assuming that you've managed to get up and dressed, how on earth do you motivate yourself if you are having one of those types of day?

 

I'm no stranger to the struggle to "get out the bit" as we say here in Scotland. And, like so many of you, when there's work, family life and other commitments to juggle, I almost always have a to-do list lurking, waiting to be tackled.

 

For this reason, I've eagerly absorbed every crumb of advice involving procrastination and the art of knuckling down to work. Forums, self-help books and, you guessed it, other blogs are thankfully full of suggestions. 

 

Here's my own consolidated set of techniques to help you on your way... As ever, I've included what I think is a decent mixture in the hope that there's something here for everyone.

 

Keep it short

Getting started is almost always the worst part so I've borne that in mind here.  If you can just get going and feel that you've achieved something, chances are that you might feel good enough to tackle the next task in hand.  It's therefore sometimes a good idea to start out with a job that you know you can complete quickly. As the queen of home management, flylady, says: "You can do anything for 15 minutes."

 

Keep it simple

On a similar note to the above suggestion, if you need a "quick fix" achievement, then you could do worse than to choose something easy as a starting point on your to-do list.  No matter that it doesn't take much brainpower or physical effort, you'll have done something (albeit something simple) when you were in the mood to do absolutely nothing.

 

Keep it mechanical

If even simple tasks seem like too big a mountain to climb, go for something that really is a "no brainer" - something repetitive and mechanical. That pile of paper that needs shredded, those socks that need paired, the envelopes that need stuffed. If that's all you feel up to - and it needs done anyway - go for it.

 

Keep it physical

If paperwork features in your 'to do' list but you simply can't concentrate, you may have to put it to one side temporarily.  (I appreciate that this isn't an option if you work in an open plan office!) If your schedule has the flexibility, go and do something active instead.  I'm a homeworker so I'll often go and disgruntledly hoover or mop a floor to try and power my way out of my bad mood.  These things usually need done in my house anyway, so at least I've gone some way towards tackling the chores.

 

Keep it incentivised

Promising small children a reward for completing a mundane task might be frowned upon but this time it's up to you! If you can't get yourself going, why not promise yourself something nice if you succeed in knuckling down for a certain amount of time?  It doesn't have to be anything major - even just a break for a cuppa, or a chat on the 'phone with a friend.

 

Keep it nasty

Bit of a wildcard here at the end! (Just wanted to check that you were still reading....)  Sometimes, when you are in a real grump anyway, it's worth considering doing the polar opposite to suggestions one and two. That's right:  Pick the big task you are most dreading and immerse yourself in it.  After all, if you are out of sorts you may as well be out of sorts properly!

Do you have any techniques for dealing with days when you simply "can't get out the bit?" If so, please comment below.

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Shared on Works-For-Me-Wednesday (WFMW).