Climbing out of the comfort zone

This week someone I know and respect gently accused me of backing down from a project because they suspected I felt 'out of my comfort zone'.

I seized on the phrase like a drowning person would cling to a raft: "You're exactly right, I am out of my comfort zone!" Then I waited to be let off the hook.

That's where things took an interesting turn.  They had no intention of letting me off the hook. Quite the contrary.  At the end of our 'phone call, I was still very much on that particular hook.

Even more surprising is this: I'm not ecstatic about it but I'm OK.  This is NOT my average response to doing things I'm less than 100 per cent sure of.

What gives? Well, on turning forty I made myself a promise.  My new catchphrase would be - cringes inwardly - 'Forty and fearless!'. I'm only three months in but so far I've stuck to my guns.

So how does a cowardly control freak like me climb out of her comfort zone? The as-yet-unpatented three-step plan goes as follows:

Research  Spot the marketing girl (again).  It might be new to you but chances are that someone, somewhere has done it before you.  And they'll have generously shared their experience online. Get googling and get to grips with your challenge. The more you discover, the better prepared you'll be.

Supporters Your supporters don't need to have particular knowledge of what you're trying to do. They just need to be people who believe in you.  And who'll help you to believe in yourself. Surround yourself with them.

Worst case scenario  Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all? I still have issues with this one, to be honest.  I've a real fear of failure.  But I do force myself to think through the repercussions of not achieving my goal.  Letting your mind go there is painful but liberating.

Of course the flip side of the worst case scenario is thinking through how good you'll feel if you achieve what you've set out to do...

Regardless of your plans for 2015 - fitness challenges, career goals, lifestyle changes - I wish you the very best of luck. Let's all enjoy the view from beyond our personal comfort zones.

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Things that make you go GRRRRRRR!

Perhaps surprisingly, I'm not that bad in a crisis.  When there's a genuine calamity taking place, I have amazed others (and at times myself) by being reasonably clear-headed and calm.

 

It's the little things that get to me, you see.  The daily frustrations which, particularly when accumulated throughout the course of the day, can tip me over the edge into complete madness.

 

This past week I seem to have had more than my fair share of modern life's irritations. I've picked out my absolute favourites here.  You'll recognise them instantly.  Indeed I'm pretty sure that many a blogger has had an online rant about the very same things (and they've probably done so far more eloquently than I will).

 

That aside, I'm pretty sure I'm due a turn at ranting right about now. Let the meltdown commence....

 

Supermarket self-service

 

Yes, that old chestnut.  Surely no-one still thinks that they're going to save time by using one of these things?  Far better to queue up behind the woman with triplets and a trolley that looks as though she's doing her pre-Christmas shop.  If you're still game enough to try it, remember that the following rules of self-service shopping apply:

 

1. Do not attempt to use your own bag.  I don't care if you've lugged it all the way round the shop and want to be environmentally friendly. Your bag straps won't fit on the silly metal hanging handles meant for cheap and nasty supermarket bags and you will hear - not for the last time - that you have placed an 'unexpected item in the bagging area'. And that's before you've even started ringing up your shopping.

 

2. Do not attempt to buy anything lighter than a slab of butter.  This will confuse the machine into announcing yet again that there's an 'unexpected item in the bagging area'. Swiftly followed by 'Please wait.  The assistant is coming.'

 

3. Do not attempt to buy alcohol.  Well not if you're in any kind of hurry anyway.  Prepare yourself for 'Please wait. The assistant is coming.' You can't even congratulate yourself that they think you're under 25; the machine stops everyone.

 

4.  Do not attempt to purchase anything of a remotely personal nature.  Because that will be the next 'unexpected item in the bagging area', which you will be asked to 'please remove'.  Who's now hoving into view to inspect your wordly goods? You guessed it.  'The assistant is coming.' And the people in the rapidly growing queue behind you look quite interested too.

 

5. Do not expect the assistant to engage in any kind of conversation with you.  Prepare for her to swish up, flash the magic card round her neck at the machine, look at you dismissively, then leave.  She may choose to emit a laboured sigh when she returns to assist for the third time.

 

On the rare occasion that I have managed to complete a self-service transaction without the aid of the assistant, I have felt sorely tempted to perform a victory dance as I leave the store.  Surely this process should be easier?

 

On-hold messaging

 

It was the home insurance renewal last weekend that did it.  No less than 1 hour and 20 minutes to make one call to my new provider and another to cancel the renewal with my existing provider. 

 

I know, I know.  These companies are very busy dealing with calls from all those poor people whose properties and belongings have been damaged by flooding.  But if hearing 'Your call is important to us' four hundred times within forty minutes drove me to despair, what must it have done to someone whose home and lifetime's possessions were ruined?

 

I rest my case.

My call is important to you? Honestly?

 

Internet Explorer has stopped working

 

I could really just leave it at that, couldn't I? Five simple words that are guaranteed to ignite a tantrum in the most sanguine of people.  It always happens just when you're about to save that important report or place that carefully considered order doesn't it? Every. Single. Time.

 

I felt an unnatural level of empathy with Sue from Outnumbered the other week when her computer and printer (stationed side by side) were failing to communicate with one another.  It was if the director had a window into my home - or indeed my brain (or what little is left of it).

 

Speaking of which, now's about the time when I need to press 'save' and hope that it works. 

 

Otherwise, I won't be responsible for my actions....

 

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The power of the humble list

I'm addicted to lists. There, I said it. (Please don't all run for the hills!) I have to confess, though, that it wasn't until I started writing this blog post that I realised just how heavily the humble list features in my daily life.  Where on earth would I be without it?

Now, I'm not sure that all of my list uses will appeal to everyone (not given my list-tastic tendencies!). But, as ever, if there's just one suggestion that you find useful, then I'll consider this article a good job done.

Off we go....

The  master 'to do' list

Everyone has one of these in some shape or form, don't they? On a week day, this sits beside my desk with a list of categorised tasks. Paid for work comes first (needs must) and nowadays I might have another heading below for 'blog'. Then, if I'm feeling really efficient, I might include another section for the humdrum stuff I need to remember about - paying bills, making an optician's appointment, etc.

I work from a hard copy notepad but I know that some people like to save desk space and keep their work task list on their computer.  Between you and me, I think mine has always remained as a hard copy for two reasons:  Firstly, I have a tendency to remember about something important just after I've switched the laptop off.  Secondly, I really love the process of physically ticking a checkbox once I've completed a job. (So much more satisfying than clicking a mouse.)

Oh - and one more thing. Sometimes I'll write up my 'to do' list the night before, especially if the next day looks really busy.  It helps me to switch off a little and get some sleep. Otherwise, I risk a jumble of tasks swirling round my head at 3am.

The mobile list

I don't carry my beloved 'to do' list notepad about with me.  If a great idea for a work project springs into mind while I'm on the go or, more likely, I have one of those dreaded "Oh no, I've forgotten to do XYZ" moments, then I need to find some other way of capturing it.  Sadly, my average - and at times below average - memory can not be relied upon to retrieve the information later. This is where my trusty mobile 'phone comes in.  As a list lover, I've enthusiastically investigated lots of task list apps. My needs are fairly basic though, so I've found that most of them are too sophisticated. As an iphone owner, I use both the standard notes app and the reminders app (if the job is time-sensitive). The combination of the two is perfectly adequate to meet my on-the-go requirements.

The menu planning list

Or, as it is known in my household, the 'meals for the week' list.  This goes hand in hand with my weekly shopping list. Both get written up at the same time - usually at the weekend or on a Monday, by which time the cupboards are looking a bit forlorn.  By deciding what we're going to eat in advance for the next seven days or so, the shopping list becomes a bit more focused and there's less risk of impulse buying and wasted food at the end of the week. If hubby's home first, he can (in theory!) see which meals we have planned and start cooking in the knowledge that all the ingredients should be to hand. For this reason, I'll occasionally jot down a reference to the recipe book and page number alongside the planned meal. Note: Sometimes real life does get in the way, so the menu plan is not always adhered to rigidly. An element of flexibility is essential in my household!  The menu planning list is usually a scribbled affair that is attached via magnet to our fridge or notice board (of which more below).

The day-to-day family list

Not so much of a list, as a noticeboard.  My eldest child really likes to know what we're doing, what we're eating and who's at home on any given day. (Hubby works shifts so he's sometimes around after school, sometimes not.)  Kept in the kitchen, our family noticeboard is written up (usually by me, sometimes by the kids) the night before and stops me getting impatient answering the same, inevitable daily questions.  Again, things don't always go exactly to schedule but at least there is the intention of order among the family chaos! What's more, I think it gives my daughter a sense of security in what's becoming a fast-paced, ever changing world.  Given that hubby's a shift worker, it also reminds him what the plan is if he comes home to an empty or sleeping household.

The children's checklist

I realised the other day that this really needs an overhaul in our household. The original version was produced some years ago and my two children's capabilities have since moved on. However, as some of you might have younger children - and since we found it useful - I'll include it here anyway.  Pinned on the inside of our coat cupboard door, we have a simple checklist for the kids with pictures alongside.  Getting them out in the morning for nursery or school used to be really stressful (and, to be frank, it sometimes still is).  This checklist was designed to encourage them to develop some independence and to stop me asking the same questions day in, day out. You know the ones I mean, "Have you packed your swimming bag/show and tell project/recorder/water bottle?" and "Have you brushed your teeth/hair?". If you have access to any kind of word processing software like Microsoft Word, it's well worth the half hour to set up, print out and - if you have the equipment - laminate a list like this. I remember it working really nicely in the first few weeks (novelty value?), after which time some of the daily procedures were becoming ingrained.

Cautionary note: Don't leave it to languish like I did once the kids have got the hang of things! My next step should have been to move things up a notch and produce a new list. Perhaps one that includes some additional morning jobs that my two are more than capable of doing.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I might feel another list coming on...

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Shared on Works-For-Me-Wednesday (WFMW).

Resolving to keep it simple

Happy New Year one and all!  The festive season is, as ever, over in a flash and suddenly we are surrounded by 'New Year, New You' advertisements and shops stuffed with low fat ready meals and fitness equipment.

 

By now, most of you have probably been asked whether you've made any New Year's resolutions.  Hmmmm. While I agree that it's great to set goals and challenge yourself, I'm not quite sure that I'm a fan of the New Year's resolution.  After all, the short grey days of January are often among the toughest to start some ambitious new exercise regime or to decide that you're going to give up chocolate forever (as if!).

 

I do, however, like the feeling of looking forward that goes hand in hand with the hanging of a brand new calendar on the kitchen wall.  I enjoy mulling over where we might spend our next holiday, what kind of new activities I want to try, which new books I'd love to read or even (yikes!) how I might manage our family's budget a little better.  After the downtime of the holidays, I've even found that some new ideas have popped into my mind, unbidden, for a few of my current work projects.

 

In terms of turning my family, social and work ideas into reality, my starting point will be to write them all down.  I do love a good list! The next stage will probably involve research and discussion with the others involved - hubby/children/colleagues/clients. If the idea is deemed a "goer" then the real plan-hatching and implementation can commence.

Above all, however, my ideas are just that - ideas.  They are not set in stone and there will be no self-flagellation if they don't work out.  Resolutions dumbed down? Perhaps.  But if there's real intent behind them, they may well prove just as effective, if not more.

Here's to a great 2014!

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