A life lesson learned

Life was chuntering along at Average Towers. Then all of a sudden it decided to play a little game with me.

Just as my workload began to gather pace in January, my 'average' technology proved it wasn't even worthy of that adjective.

First it was the printer. Which decided to only print when it felt like it.  Not ideal when my work demands thorough proof-reading.  

Next up was the laptop. Its operating system had a nervous breakdown. This necessitated an emergency shopping trip to Argos for a new version.  Several weary hours installing Windows 8.1 added to the thrill.

I was back up and running until a storm blew in. No prizes for guessing what that did to my broadband connection.

And there you have it.  A fortnight into January and I was already behind with my workload. Naturally I did not keep this state of affairs to myself.  Oh no.  I moaned about it to anyone who would listen until I was back online. Then I moaned about it on social media too. 

It didn't end there however. As we approached the coldest weekend of the year, the heating at Average Towers decided to pack in. Best not tell you what I thought about that.

Just over 24 hours later, normal temperatures (and tempers) were resumed. Since then, I've taken stock of the events of the past fortnight.  It's part of our culture to expect certain things to work.  How we deal with it when they don't is quite revealing.

I'm not particularly proud of my surly humour and petulant attitude.  Once Average Towers was cosy and comfortable again, I was forced to acknowledge that there are many people who can't afford to heat their own homes.  And my technical issues and project deadlines? Hardly a matter of life and death compared to the work of our emergency services, aid workers and the like.

Which brings me back to appreciating how much I actually do have.  It's so easy to get caught up with small gripes. And to take many, many luxuries for granted.  Me? I think I need to reacquaint myself with gratitude lists.  And keep thanking the printer when it performs on demand...

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Things that make you go GRRRRRRR!

Perhaps surprisingly, I'm not that bad in a crisis.  When there's a genuine calamity taking place, I have amazed others (and at times myself) by being reasonably clear-headed and calm.

 

It's the little things that get to me, you see.  The daily frustrations which, particularly when accumulated throughout the course of the day, can tip me over the edge into complete madness.

 

This past week I seem to have had more than my fair share of modern life's irritations. I've picked out my absolute favourites here.  You'll recognise them instantly.  Indeed I'm pretty sure that many a blogger has had an online rant about the very same things (and they've probably done so far more eloquently than I will).

 

That aside, I'm pretty sure I'm due a turn at ranting right about now. Let the meltdown commence....

 

Supermarket self-service

 

Yes, that old chestnut.  Surely no-one still thinks that they're going to save time by using one of these things?  Far better to queue up behind the woman with triplets and a trolley that looks as though she's doing her pre-Christmas shop.  If you're still game enough to try it, remember that the following rules of self-service shopping apply:

 

1. Do not attempt to use your own bag.  I don't care if you've lugged it all the way round the shop and want to be environmentally friendly. Your bag straps won't fit on the silly metal hanging handles meant for cheap and nasty supermarket bags and you will hear - not for the last time - that you have placed an 'unexpected item in the bagging area'. And that's before you've even started ringing up your shopping.

 

2. Do not attempt to buy anything lighter than a slab of butter.  This will confuse the machine into announcing yet again that there's an 'unexpected item in the bagging area'. Swiftly followed by 'Please wait.  The assistant is coming.'

 

3. Do not attempt to buy alcohol.  Well not if you're in any kind of hurry anyway.  Prepare yourself for 'Please wait. The assistant is coming.' You can't even congratulate yourself that they think you're under 25; the machine stops everyone.

 

4.  Do not attempt to purchase anything of a remotely personal nature.  Because that will be the next 'unexpected item in the bagging area', which you will be asked to 'please remove'.  Who's now hoving into view to inspect your wordly goods? You guessed it.  'The assistant is coming.' And the people in the rapidly growing queue behind you look quite interested too.

 

5. Do not expect the assistant to engage in any kind of conversation with you.  Prepare for her to swish up, flash the magic card round her neck at the machine, look at you dismissively, then leave.  She may choose to emit a laboured sigh when she returns to assist for the third time.

 

On the rare occasion that I have managed to complete a self-service transaction without the aid of the assistant, I have felt sorely tempted to perform a victory dance as I leave the store.  Surely this process should be easier?

 

On-hold messaging

 

It was the home insurance renewal last weekend that did it.  No less than 1 hour and 20 minutes to make one call to my new provider and another to cancel the renewal with my existing provider. 

 

I know, I know.  These companies are very busy dealing with calls from all those poor people whose properties and belongings have been damaged by flooding.  But if hearing 'Your call is important to us' four hundred times within forty minutes drove me to despair, what must it have done to someone whose home and lifetime's possessions were ruined?

 

I rest my case.

My call is important to you? Honestly?

 

Internet Explorer has stopped working

 

I could really just leave it at that, couldn't I? Five simple words that are guaranteed to ignite a tantrum in the most sanguine of people.  It always happens just when you're about to save that important report or place that carefully considered order doesn't it? Every. Single. Time.

 

I felt an unnatural level of empathy with Sue from Outnumbered the other week when her computer and printer (stationed side by side) were failing to communicate with one another.  It was if the director had a window into my home - or indeed my brain (or what little is left of it).

 

Speaking of which, now's about the time when I need to press 'save' and hope that it works. 

 

Otherwise, I won't be responsible for my actions....

 

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Is technology taking over your family's life?

This isn't the first article on the subject of technology and its influence on family life.  I'm pretty sure that it won't be the last either. It's an emotive subject, make no bones about it. Many parents have huge concerns about their children's growing use of games consoles, mobile phones and tablets. In the run-up to the festive season, the Facebook status updates that provoked the most debate were those that read: "My child wants the latest technological gadget for Christmas - should we go ahead and get him it?" Cue a barrage of comments spanning a variety of differing parental viewpoints.

 

I'm going to start out with my usual disclaimer: This article is not going to preach about how much or how little you should be letting your children use technology.  We have several devices in our household -   it's certainly not a technology free zone. Instead, I want to explore how the average family can find the right 'technology balance' for them...

 

Two recent situations prompted me to look hard at our own family's technology use:

 

During a recent short break at a well-known family friendly resort, I couldn't help but be saddened by the situation in the evenings.  The hotel  had a lovely spacious lounge area, which many families retired to after dinner.  Despite the fact that there was musical entertainment, most families took to the sofas with their iPads or game consoles for the kids. Often, both adults had their mobile phones out.  There was no conversation.  There was no engagement with other families.  And no-one really looked as though they were enjoying themselves that much.  Since family holidays represent precious time together, I found the scenario quite distressing.

 

Even closer to home, hubby and I were becoming guilty of letting our own family's technology use creep gradually upwards. We have an iPad that is used by all the family with separate folders for children's apps (educational and fun). My daughter, who is rapidly approaching double figures, has an iPod Touch (saved for with her own money and bought second-hand from eBay).  Somewhere along the lines, our original rules about the use of these had fallen by the wayside.  The kids were spending more and more time wrapped up in their favourite apps and we were spending less and less time playing board games, chatting or even watching movies together as a family. 

 

And so we decided it was time to re-introduce and reinforce the old rules.  Time spent on iPads and iPods would be limited - and permission would need to be asked first.  Both devices would be stored in communal areas, so that there was no skulking off to bedrooms on the pretext of doing something else.  My husband and I agreed that we would make a greater effort to stay away from our mobile phones while we were eating, talking or playing as a family.  We realised that we'd become a little like the parents we described above - taking out our phones at the end of a meal just to check the weather, then getting caught up in emails while the kids copied our anti-social example.

 

Keep iPads and iPods in communal areas

 

And that's why in the future I'll try not to criticise anyone else's approach to technology. Because it's such a difficult issue. And it is oh-so-easy to let your own standards slip.  And children, as they grow older, have changing needs. And - an important point - technology is not all evil. Many schools use educational apps and some homework is now done online. On visiting our local library today, I discovered that iPads are available for use there by the general public too.  Technology allows us to access and share some amazing information. To divorce our children from that completely would not be doing them a favour - technology is an important part of our world and will have a continuing influence on all of our lives.  (Consider this: The US Department of Labour reports that  65% of today’s grade school kids will end up at a job that has not yet been invented. Scary stuff, eh?)

 

So what happens when we get it wrong? When we agree to a game that we later feel is unsuitable? Or we want to cut back the time our children spend on these devices?

 

In our average household, we decided to pay attention to our gut feeling. If it makes you uncomfortable, chances are that it's not right for your family.  So cut the time back. Take the game away. Brace yourself and say the words: "I'm sorry, we were wrong to allow you to have that. We made a mistake.  This has to stop."

 

There will be tantrums, there will be tears. But if it doesn't feel right to you, chances are that it isn't right for your children either. 

 

How does your family handle technology? Let me know if you've found a balance that works for you.

 

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