Excuses of a homeworker (and what they really mean)

Having freelanced for around a decade now, I've shared a lot of stories with others whose roles also involve an element of homeworking.  

There's a unique quality that you need to become a successful homeworker. No-one really warns you about it though. It's nothing to do with organisational skills or self-discipline, however handy these may be.

It's the art of ad-libbing, thinking on your feet and trotting out smooth explanations without a trace of hesitation. Ones that make it sound as though you're operating from a purpose-built glass-walled office when the reality of your working environment is something entirely different...

Here are just a few examples. (They're not all mine. Promise.)

Sorry I missed your call. I had to step away from my desk for a minute.

Translation: I nipped downstairs to shove the third load of washing into the machine.

I'm away from my desk today with limited access to email.

Translation: I rashly volunteered to help out in my child's class today.  I will be furtively checking emails during break time.

I have someone with me right now. Can I call you back?

Translation: My bewildered-looking partner has just entered the room clutching a shopping list and in desperate need of further instruction.

Please excuse me. I'm just about to pop out to a meeting.

Translation: The meeting is with my own offspring who are about to exit the school in three minutes. 

I am on annual leave this week.

Translation: I have decided to swap the stress of dealing with you for the stress of dealing with my children full-time for the next seven days.

********

Once you've got this little lot down pat, you really can't go wrong. After all, the ability to think on one's feet is surely attractive to potential clients?

Addendum: If any of the fabulous people I work for ever actually read this, please know that I love doing what I do for you.  Despite the lack of glass-walled office.

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A life lesson learned

Life was chuntering along at Average Towers. Then all of a sudden it decided to play a little game with me.

Just as my workload began to gather pace in January, my 'average' technology proved it wasn't even worthy of that adjective.

First it was the printer. Which decided to only print when it felt like it.  Not ideal when my work demands thorough proof-reading.  

Next up was the laptop. Its operating system had a nervous breakdown. This necessitated an emergency shopping trip to Argos for a new version.  Several weary hours installing Windows 8.1 added to the thrill.

I was back up and running until a storm blew in. No prizes for guessing what that did to my broadband connection.

And there you have it.  A fortnight into January and I was already behind with my workload. Naturally I did not keep this state of affairs to myself.  Oh no.  I moaned about it to anyone who would listen until I was back online. Then I moaned about it on social media too. 

It didn't end there however. As we approached the coldest weekend of the year, the heating at Average Towers decided to pack in. Best not tell you what I thought about that.

Just over 24 hours later, normal temperatures (and tempers) were resumed. Since then, I've taken stock of the events of the past fortnight.  It's part of our culture to expect certain things to work.  How we deal with it when they don't is quite revealing.

I'm not particularly proud of my surly humour and petulant attitude.  Once Average Towers was cosy and comfortable again, I was forced to acknowledge that there are many people who can't afford to heat their own homes.  And my technical issues and project deadlines? Hardly a matter of life and death compared to the work of our emergency services, aid workers and the like.

Which brings me back to appreciating how much I actually do have.  It's so easy to get caught up with small gripes. And to take many, many luxuries for granted.  Me? I think I need to reacquaint myself with gratitude lists.  And keep thanking the printer when it performs on demand...

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Half-term: Holiday or headache?

Half term. So how was it for you? (If you're south of the border you may still be enduring the pleasure or pain of half-term. Good luck with that.)

Here at Average Towers half-term demanded juggling that was high-level even by our usual chaotic standards.  Through a complete lack of organisation and, to be honest, an almost complete lack of cash, our non-plan was that we'd take the childcare in turns.  Hubby had a delightful series of 12 hour shifts, while I clustered my work meetings into the remaining days that he was home.

As half-term approached, my workload grew along with my sense of panic. There was nothing for it: On the days that hubby was at work, I'd have to play shift worker too.  This little game involves getting up at the crack of dawn to power through a few bits and pieces before the small people demand breakfast.  And when they go to bed at night? You guessed it - back to the laptop I go.

To add an extra edge to the proceedings, by day three of the dawn 'til dusk routine I had pulled a muscle in my back. Quite how you can achieve this without any real physical exertion is a mystery. 

Stopping wasn't an option (it never really is when you're a parent), so on I slogged.  Let's dispel the myth of the glamorous life of the homeworker right now.  Imagine if you will a pyjama-clad figure  huddled over a desk with an ice pack tucked at the base of her spine, swilling tea and typing manically at 6.30am on a Saturday morning.  That's the reality.

My half-term survival station

But this post is not about me having a moan. Well, not entirely.  The fact is, after a bit of grumbling I decided to give myself a virtual kick up the bahookie (my back was still too sore to try it for real).

 

Here's the deal: I have a job I enjoy almost all of the time.  I work for and with some truly fun people. I am fortunate enough to be able to do a lot of my work from home.  I am even more fortunate in being able to mould the work I do around my husband's erratic shifts.  I may not have spent much time with hubby over half term but our children always had one of their parents around.

 

So I'm not going to moan (much).  And when I attempt to stack the dishwasher with dirty laundry? I'll tell myself that sleep is overrated anyway...

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What to do when you can't get motivated

Why is that some days you feel like you could take on the world and the next it's a struggle to get out of bed? Hormones? Energy levels? Weather? The prospect of an unpleasant list of chores ahead?

 

Perhaps it's a combination of all of the above.  But here's the thing: For most of us, nestling back down under the duvet isn't an option.

 

Assuming that you've managed to get up and dressed, how on earth do you motivate yourself if you are having one of those types of day?

 

I'm no stranger to the struggle to "get out the bit" as we say here in Scotland. And, like so many of you, when there's work, family life and other commitments to juggle, I almost always have a to-do list lurking, waiting to be tackled.

 

For this reason, I've eagerly absorbed every crumb of advice involving procrastination and the art of knuckling down to work. Forums, self-help books and, you guessed it, other blogs are thankfully full of suggestions. 

 

Here's my own consolidated set of techniques to help you on your way... As ever, I've included what I think is a decent mixture in the hope that there's something here for everyone.

 

Keep it short

Getting started is almost always the worst part so I've borne that in mind here.  If you can just get going and feel that you've achieved something, chances are that you might feel good enough to tackle the next task in hand.  It's therefore sometimes a good idea to start out with a job that you know you can complete quickly. As the queen of home management, flylady, says: "You can do anything for 15 minutes."

 

Keep it simple

On a similar note to the above suggestion, if you need a "quick fix" achievement, then you could do worse than to choose something easy as a starting point on your to-do list.  No matter that it doesn't take much brainpower or physical effort, you'll have done something (albeit something simple) when you were in the mood to do absolutely nothing.

 

Keep it mechanical

If even simple tasks seem like too big a mountain to climb, go for something that really is a "no brainer" - something repetitive and mechanical. That pile of paper that needs shredded, those socks that need paired, the envelopes that need stuffed. If that's all you feel up to - and it needs done anyway - go for it.

 

Keep it physical

If paperwork features in your 'to do' list but you simply can't concentrate, you may have to put it to one side temporarily.  (I appreciate that this isn't an option if you work in an open plan office!) If your schedule has the flexibility, go and do something active instead.  I'm a homeworker so I'll often go and disgruntledly hoover or mop a floor to try and power my way out of my bad mood.  These things usually need done in my house anyway, so at least I've gone some way towards tackling the chores.

 

Keep it incentivised

Promising small children a reward for completing a mundane task might be frowned upon but this time it's up to you! If you can't get yourself going, why not promise yourself something nice if you succeed in knuckling down for a certain amount of time?  It doesn't have to be anything major - even just a break for a cuppa, or a chat on the 'phone with a friend.

 

Keep it nasty

Bit of a wildcard here at the end! (Just wanted to check that you were still reading....)  Sometimes, when you are in a real grump anyway, it's worth considering doing the polar opposite to suggestions one and two. That's right:  Pick the big task you are most dreading and immerse yourself in it.  After all, if you are out of sorts you may as well be out of sorts properly!

Do you have any techniques for dealing with days when you simply "can't get out the bit?" If so, please comment below.

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Shared on Works-For-Me-Wednesday (WFMW).

How to make your home office work for you: Three golden rules

I've recently been working mostly from home - and I also did so for around eight years when my children were very young. Thanks to all the lovely technology that we now have at our fingertips, many people find it feasible to handle at least part - and sometimes all - of their job from home.  It's not for everyone, however, and over the years I've discovered that the following principles of home office management are essential to making the arrangement work for me. None of it's rocket science - and my self-devised rules might not suit your circumstances - but I hope there is something in here that might just be of help...

1. Keep your workspace tidy. (I told you it wasn't rocket science!) Even if it is "your mess" and you're a natural hoarder, chances are that you'll be more productive if you can add a semblance of order to the chaos.  Personally, if I let my filing trays get beyond a certain point, just looking at them makes me feel defeated before I even start work. Hardly a productive beginning to the day...

2. Make your workspace your own.  This may sound obvious but in many cases (including my own), the home office is also a spare room, which means that it may double up as a guest bedroom, family gym, children's playroom, general dumping ground etc.  I'm not suggesting that you never invite anyone to stay or deprive your children of their play space; the reality of the situation is that most of us don't have endless extra rooms for all the activities our family members enjoy.  What I am suggesting is that you make your area of the room - desk, work station, craft bench, whatever - your own. Organise it to meet your needs - personalise it with your favourite photos or trinkets if that gets your creative juices flowing or keep it purely functional if that's the way you work best.  Enjoy beavering away to music? Invest in a portable radio or docking station. Once you've arranged things to suit, keep them that way. Which brings me to my next point...

3. Agree access arrangements. If home working is to work for you, then you need to actually put in the hours. For most of us, that means you have to be left in peace to get on with it.  Yes, it's lovely to know that you can share your tea break with your nearest and dearest but it's also best to let them know when you're in the midst of a big project and can't be interrupted. Set the ground rules from the outset and you'll avoid tears and resentment later on.

Happy home working!

Related posts: Would self employment suit you?

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